They arrived with to a sickening crack, watching the burning wall of the town come crashing down. From the crest of a hill, Ebic heard the screams of the civilians as flames engulfed thatched roofs and watchtowers engulfed in flames. watchtowers. His heart saunk; sank; his team was too late to stop the attack.

“The Wasps” was action-packed and dealt with heavy topics like guilt, and loss, and morality in war. To better convey these themes, I indicated places where the protagonist’s emotional state could have been explored through sensation and where his relationships, past and present, needed more explanation to immerse the reader in his emotions. I also suggested some sentence rewrites to sharpen the story’s language in accordance with the action.

Feather led me down the street to the survey team's headquarters. Or, more accurately, I hobbled after them as they buzzed here and there between their favorite places in town. The library, the raised gardens, the only cafe café that still had decent coffee.

“Dead Leaves” explored several fascinating topics—an apocalypse with a unique threat that intertwined with its protagonist’s personal relationship failings. However, these topics were not presented with enough detail, so while intriguing, the lack of explanation left me feeling as though I was only seeing the surface of a story that could have been much deeper. My critiques involved comments discussing my interpretation of events along with questions I had while reading to hopefully emulate a reader’s experience and identify which aspects of the story would have benefitted from more detail.

The air conditioning was broken. It was the second Monday of September, and Basil was laying on his bedroom floor in the same spot as always, with his cheek tucked into his elbow and one bony hip digging into the worn, gray carpet.

The author’s primary concern when it came time to edit their story was clarity. There were a few vague story/character moments, and while the story was meant to keep certain details a mystery for the sake of suspense, it lacked sufficient information to speculate on possible answers to the mystery. My focus while reviewing was to illustrate my thought process as a reader. By doing so, I could indicate where my expectations were, what I learned from the information I was given, and where I was confused to reveal points where more information may have been useful.